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Remembering: February 5th, 2009
Friday, February 5, 2010
This day was another one spent in the hospital. By now, I was working one day and going to see Dad the next. We knew Dad would be getting out soon but we didn't know when, or in what condition. By now, it was clear the tumors were going to win their battle to take over Dad's liver. But, we all wanted him comfortable so his last days would be better. I find very rarely do you get what you really want from life. That doesn't mean I'm not thankful for what I did get, I just wanted what wasn't possible anymore. Dad's legs had begun to swell. It started with his feet, they became enlarged and uncomfortable. We found out this was because the kidneys were starting to have trouble functioning. I could go into detail about how all this works since I insisted on learning it from the doctor. Suffice it to say, this was the beginning a multiple organ failure. But death, like life, takes time to happen. This was just another uncomfortable thing Dad's body would put his spirit through. He was brave about it, he still had hope. I had not told him what the nurse at his onchologists office revealed to me. It wasn't my place. We could see the reality of the situation. but we both wanted to hope. So we did. We talked about options if the liver stints worked. We laughed about how the swelling made him have monkey feet. And we ate lots of gross hospital food.
Dad was becoming a particularly grumpy hospital guest, so I have no doubt some of the nurses were ready for him to go home too. Gladys, Dad's girlfriend, stayed with us most days. While I was glad he always had company, it was difficult since she spoke no English. My last name may have been Rico before it was Cooper but that is about the extent of my Spanish vocabulary. Sure, I took 2 years of college level Spanish. But a steady diet of denial and aging stripped from me what little linguistic talent I had for the language. But tears and saddness are the same in every language. So are smiles.
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