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Remembering: February 20th, 2009
Saturday, February 20, 2010
This post comes with a disclaimer: What happened on this day was not my idea, but I did enjoy it. Dad woke up this morning with some spring in his step. We had found a good routine with his pain meds, and he was tired of being in the house. So, what did he want to do? Go shopping. My Dad always loved buying things for me and my sister. It was difficult for him to be around with any consistency after he and my mom were divorced, so I think it started as him wanting us to have things around that reminded us of him. Plus, he always liked to have the best, and for us to have the same. I will admit that I did not object to this. So at breakfast that morning, Dad and I made a list. His main goal was to make his house more livable. He had only moved in a few months before then and had not spent any time making it his own. I packed up Dad's medication, and out the door we went.Dad was still driving at this point, much to my dismay. I didn't put up too much of a fight at this point since I knew how much he enjoyed it. Our first stop was Fry's electronics. Dad had decided that after 10 years of watching a small tube television, he was going to get a nice flat screen. He sauntered back to the department with me in toe and explained: I want the best Samsung television and blu ray player you have. After the saleman realized how serious Dad was, he began moving very quickly. I think the excitement had drained Dad, so he sat down on a couch in front of a television and told me to take care of it. Thirty minutes later, we left with an appointment for them to deliver the tv and more than a few blurays for Dad to watch. I really think he enjoyed the spontineity of it all. I know Dad understood what limited time he had to enjoy this television. I think he just wanted to do something grand. After a few more stores Dad needed to get home. It had been a successful day, and for a few hours we forgot how sick Dad was. We ignored what was right in front of us and lived in a consumer moment, and it was fun. Dad had over done it though. And for the first time , I had to give Dad liquid morphine. I had prepared myself for this moment, and it was terribly difficult. I kept repeating the instructions I had been given by the Hospice nurse: Fill syringe to appropriate level, stick under his tongue and shoot. As he feel asleep, the reality of how much pain he was in sunk in and all the joy we had shared that day fell away.
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